A tourist arrived in Rio de Janeiro and wanted to see the sights. He hired a taxi-driver as his guide.
He was taken first to the statue of Christ the Redeemer on Cocovador.
"How long did it take you to build this statue?" the tourist asked.
"Seven years," the guide replied.
"Seven years!" the tourist exclaimed, "In my country, we could do it in seven months!"
The guide next took the tourist to the Niteroi Bridge, one of the longest in the world. As they drove across it from Rio to Niteroi, the view was breathtaking.
"How long did it take you to build this bridge?" the tourist asked.
"Five years," the guide replied.
"Five years!" the tourist exclaimed, "In my country, we could do it in five months!"
By this time, the guide was getting annoyed. He took the tourist into the city. Looming ahead was the Maracana Stadium, the largest in the world, seating 100,000 people.
"And how long did it take you to build that stadium?"
"I don't know," the guide replied, "when I drove past this place yesterday, it was not here."
When Bill Clinton won the presidential elections, he was elated. He and his wife Hillary decided to sneak off to celebrate. On their way, they stopped to put gasoline in their car. Bill could not help noticing the way Hillary was talking with the gas pump attendant.
As they drove off, Bill said to Hillary, "I could not help noticing the way you were talking with the attendant--like you were old friends."
"Of course," Hillary replied, "we knew each other a long time ago. We were in high school together. In fact, we dated for a while, and he even asked me to marry him."
Bill swelled with pride. "Aren't you glad that you turned him down, and married the president of the United States instead?"
"If I married him," Hillary replied, "he would have been the president and you, the gas pump attendant."
Listen to what some children write to their mothers on Mother's Day.
1. Angie:"Dear Mother, I am going to make dinner for you on Mother's Day. It's going to be a surprise. P.S I hope you like pizza and popcorn."
2. Robert:"I got you a turtle for Mother's Day. I hope you like the turtle better than the snake I got you last year."
3. Eileen: "Dear Mother, I wish Mother's Day wasn't always on a Sunday. It would be better if it were on Monday so we wouldn't have to go to school."
4. Jack:"I hope you like the flowers I got you for Mother's Day. I picked them myself when our neighbor wasn't looking.
5. Carol:"Dear Mother, here are two aspirins. Have a happy Mother's Day!"
With regards to these stories, all credits go to author David W.F.Wong(Make them Laugh and help them Learn)